Struggling at the moment...life is tough!

Hey all!

So, I want to break a myth that 'Christians' have an easy life and everything runs smoothly for them.

Last couple of weeks have been pretty painful in fact - for many different reasons that I won't go into here. Maybe another post.

I tend to also carry other peoples burdens too. Put myself in their shoes often and want to fix everything and feel failure when I can't. Probably not the best idea for me to assist in a mothering blog for that reason huh? :-) There have been some very broken mums on there recently. Shattering.

Fortunately for me though - I do have a connection to the source that can refill me with Joy, Peace and Hope. I have living water that never runs dry. What a Joy He is! This is where I think we fail often as Christians - is we soldier on in our own strength and we forget to give the issues to Him and ask Him to intervene and take them over. We send a little 'flare prayer' and move on.

But not me. I NEED that deep prayer time. Where I can be honest, broken, shattered, empty, seeking, reaching out.... and I refuse to be filled by any other source.

For me, my hardest struggle is finding the time to get there and not resenting my children in the meantime. I find as a parent I get most frustrated and loose patience fastest when I have another agenda that I want to get done. So, I try to not let this happen if at all possible (which is why I love my job!)

I know, I could be in prayer right now instead of writing here right? (I'm heading to my knees straight after this, don't you worry!!) Computer time is slightly different though I think.

As parents we are still regularly interrupted while here (drinks, bickering over toys, stealing my mobile and wanting to sit on my lap have all occurred since I've started typing this actually!) and we can stop and go back to what we are doing on the computer pretty smoothly. Deep prayer is harder to allow interruptions. Especially if you cry like me :-)

But as a parent, it IS difficult to find 5 minutes to yourself, especially without guilt seeping in and taking over.

Today, that is not going to worry me. The television is my friend and Dora is going to watch my kids while I take all this hard stuff to my heavenly Father and ask He takes it all off my back. To allow me the strength to continue you on. The ability to help others in there desperate need. To seek wisdom in situations I want to take control of. The words to say and the times I should be quiet.

I'm not doing anybody any good running on empty.... so i shall go now and drink the living water again. My Daily Bread :-)

Thanks for the vent. Hope you can relate?

xK

I'm back!

Ok, so long break between drinks! Sorry!

I have been busy with other things - well, life in general really - but I've felt the urging (from people AND my heart) to continue with this blog and even not be afraid if people find it....

Apparently people think i am worth knowing and so I will continue to pour out my heart and thoughts. Thank you to those who love me the way that i am :-) and hello to newbies who want to know me more! I would appreciate your contribution and discussion!

Looking forward to hearing from you...

xK