I guess a lot of what one thinks is because of what one absorbs - and the material that I've been reading or listening to the last few years is not exactly 'light'. I mean, I listen to sermons in my free time! How weird is that?!?!
How did I get here?
I think this kick up the butt started December 2011 (how is that for specific??) when hubby asked me to order a book for him for his birthday (his birthday is 9 days before mine) and the book really got my attention on the way I was living. I did give it to him, but then took it back and had a speed read through it before my 30th birthday arrived a few days later....
The 30th birthday is significant too - as I know from scripture Jesus began His public ministry at 30 :-)
I still remember the day I finished reading it, a day or two before my 30th, and hubby came home from work, finding me on the floor in a sobbing mess, confessing before God how shallow my walk had become. I was tired of living a lukewarm life and asked Him to change me.
Hubby, on this day (to cheer me up I think?) gave me my Birthday gift early, which also told me that the child I was carrying was a daughter. What an emotional day :-)
Since then, I have a heightened awareness of the preciousness of time and how valuable it is. How quickly it is running out. And how accountable I am to our Father with all the blessings He has given me.
I became hungry to serve Him well, to read His word and know Him better - and I craved message after message on His design for us to live and His wisdom in my life. With these messages also comes guilt too - and thus brings me to where I am today... I don't mind guilt - it shows me that something needs work - but I'm just not sure on how to do that work.
I'm still learning, and tripping, and stumbling - but I keep being humbled and falling to my knees before Him.
Even today, when life does throw unexpected curve balls at me (today's examples: Child with separation anxiety, car not working, children being sick, dealing with child poo etc) I wonder why I am messing around with all this small stuff and what difference am I really making to His kingdom?
I'm not sure if it's a control problem, or I'm just frustrated at the way these things suck up my time - but when I ponder these things over, I find myself worrying about things that I can't change and realising I just need to put one foot in front of the other.
Anyway, just today's thoughts and ramblings....
xKelly
Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you.
I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.
I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
Ephesians 1
I'm not sure if it's a control problem, or I'm just frustrated at the way these things suck up my time - but when I ponder these things over, I find myself worrying about things that I can't change and realising I just need to put one foot in front of the other.
Anyway, just today's thoughts and ramblings....
xKelly
Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you.
I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.
I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
Ephesians 1
