I have a special education child :-)

It didn't really hit me until we visited the classroom where my son will now be going once a week, and I saw this sign on the building. Special Education Unit.

Now the rest of the world gets to hear what I already know - just how special my child is :-)

For those who don't know, our 3rd child was born with a hearing disability (or like I told my daughter when she asked, he hears the world differently to us)

Since birth, we have been in and out of audiologists, speech pathologists, E.N.Ts and now, he has been signed up to go to Special Education classes once a week.

For me, personally and honestly, it has never been an big issue. Some days I even wished they hadn't done the newborn hearing tests and that they hadn't made us aware that he may be different to other kids. When I speak, I know he can hear - and for me, that seemed like all he needed.

Sure, sometimes I did wonder if he was ignoring me when I asked him something, or was he just being a normal 3 year old - and I think for this reason, we have been softer on him when handing out rules or discipline. We just don't know.

At times it can be very frustrating having to go to so many appointments -  especially when most appointments require quietness, meaning our youngest child can't go along (thanks mum!) so extra driving, plus having to explain to my upset son he can't go to Nanna and Puppas like his sister, because we have to go to another appointment where they will tell you to be quiet, or still, or respond when told.

Another hearing test. Put the bead in the box when you hear the noise...

Of course, I'm not complaining, as the people we are dealing with are all trying to help my son - and I am so so appreciative of all the services available to children with different hearing abilities (it's amazing!) - but it's not always easy. 

I am thankful for the insight it has allowed me to glimpse into the world of crazy for those who have children who do have so many special needs and uncomfortable appointments here and there. BIG applause for you mums who do this so much more often then I have had to.

At one stage, I broke down on the phone to the lady from the hospital who was my point of contact. It was all too much and was now starting to effect his lifestyle and put added stress on us. She was very understanding and asked what areas I would like to look at specifically.

For me, my two main concerns were his speech (as I didn't want him ostracised for his hearing) and to find out if it would effect his ability to learn. She then made the appropriate appointments for us with speech pathologists and examinations to test his current learning level, rather then booking us in to see everyone for everything. Since then, the appointments have been more manageable.

I also told her that I am SO thankful we have never been told he would have to be operated on. I get teary thinking of those who would have the doctor recommend their child has to undergo a knife for their benefit. What a gut wrenching decision. Thank you Father for saving me from making such a decision.

I know God created my son this way for a reason, and whatever that reason is, I don't want to change him any more then I have to.

In fact, I would prefer it would be US that needs the changing. More education on how to teach him differently. More understanding that he may need to hear AND also see our face or mouth or body to hear directions. More love and patience to see the world through his eyes.

Isn't this what makes all 'Special' kids special? :-D

This has all really made me appreciative too of the body and so many things we take for granted. It's not just a case of sound goes in and our brain can hear it. There are so many possible areas that need to be looked at. How marvellously we are made! Who but God could create something so amazing? So precise! 

Inside an ear. Apparently. Easy stuff... ha!

...and how often those of us with no hearing problems (or other health concerns for that matter) take these things for granted. I often think of this verse when overwhelmed by all this:

"Ears to hear and eyes to see— both are gifts from the LORD." Proverbs 20:12

Have you told Him thanks today for your gifts??? :-) The blessings we often take for granted?? The colours we see and the ability to hear? He didn't have to give us those things, but did!


So, from here, we will continue to keep an eye on our special boy. Kindy is watching his development there as we may still need hearing aids or devices to help him in classroom environments.

I watched him in his first day of class, and I could see that we do need to work on a lot before he's ready for full time school next year. He surely isn't at the level his older brother and sister were at his age. I just need to stop beating myself up for that also. (Oh mother guilt, go away!!!)

This special education unit looks FANTASTIC and I'm so excited to see how he will be growing from these lovely ladies. They have already noticed a few things from the short time I was there watching, so looking forward to learning from them.

Learning through play. Love it!

For us, we will continue to try and use our whole body to communicate with him. Get down on his level and make sure he understands. Work on his speech homework and comprehension.

My son will often respond to those who ask him questions with an 'Uh-huh' rather then a yes or no. We are still trying to work out if this is because he is uncomfortable, because he can't hear or understand the question (so 'Uh-huh' usually covers it) or if it's just the quickest way to get them to stop talking to him and it's pure laziness. Cheeky monkey has been getting away with a lot! :-)

One thing this experience has done for me though - is made me appreciative of all of my kids and also other peoples kids as individuals too. We really don't know who out there is struggling or not. Maybe the kid who is having trouble in school also can't hear? Or has never been taught how to comprehend. Teachers have an amazing mission ahead of them...

I've really enjoyed the one-to-one time I've been able to spend with my son with his needs (be it, most of it in the car driving - but we have had some great conversations and singing together!) and I get teary thinking he is growing up too fast as well. He turns 4 next week. 4 years already! Wow! 

My little man's first of many hearing tests, Nawww....

Anyway, enough rambling! Getting teary again.
Thank You God for all 4 of my special kids. Love them all! :-)

Thank YOU for listening to my heart and allowing me to pour it out for you...

xKelly

Leaving our church??

Church life has been interesting for us the past few months....

My husband and I were really impressed recently with a local pastor and the way he handled and counselled some close friends of ours. We've heard about his preaching and when we were unable to find any of his sermons online, decided to visit his church one morning instead of our usual church.

We've heard of people leaving this church because of the way this man preaches and how 'legalistic' he apparently is. But I don't mind that kind of preaching. I'm quite use to it after hearing Paul Washer and John Piper sermons :-)

In fact, I WANT to be corrected and re-align each week to know where I am out of line with God's word. I want to hear how it is not me, but God in me that is doing the good work. I want to hear the message God has specifically given that pastor because of his deep prayerful time with God and where the Spirit has led him to teach his congregation.

I'm not in church to feel better about myself or to have my ears tickled - but to hear the truth and know where I am being deceived, as painful as that may sometimes be. And packing up 4 kids and getting them prepared for church is not an easy task. I'm not complaining - but I don't want to waste the time God has given me here.

We were really impressed with his message - and it was even a double confirmation in a few personal areas in my life where God has been teaching me personally. Only God can do that. Really felt like the Holy Spirit at work, like the message was aimed right at me and what I was dealing with - and hubby said he felt the same.

After a few weeks of us talking about what makes a church 'home' and why we are at ours etc - we decided to visit the church again - as the pastor had been away and this would be his "this is what the year will bring" message. We would also have the 4 kids with us too - as they make it harder to concentrate and needed to see if they knew any other the other kids there.

It was once again encouraging, as was the double page write up he had done about how it is all about Jesus and this is what this church will be all about. Wow.

That night I attended our regular church again - and tried not to compare preaching. Quite difficult of course :-) But instead of hearing the pastor preaching - I asked God over and over to hear HIS voice in it and through it. I don't want to hear a man - I want to hear Him.

The scripture the pastor was referring to that night really spoke to me. Strangely, I don't think in the way the pastor meant it - but I heard God through it.

"Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, “How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!” But the people were completely silent." 1 Kings 18
I felt God ask me the same question - but asking me personally how long will I waver between the two churches. (Not at all implying here that one is 'Gods church' and the other 'Baals'!!)

After church, I went to a quiet place to pray alone, as this stirred me deeply. I mourned over how much time I was possibly wasting in wondering and praying over this and was upset that I was wasting God's time and I was possibly upsetting Him. Were we wrong to wonder where we belong?

I have been attending the same church for 20 years now, and in the past have thought of leaving - but only ever if someone has annoyed me or upset me *shame* but at this time, there is no event or 'reason' to leave. Does there need to be one? Our church is good - but I want GREAT! Life is too short.

We love our church a lot - but I'm not here to be comfortable in this life. I want to be where I am most effective for God. I want to be around other passionate people for Christ.

In this quiet time with God, I looked back over the past few years, and I saw that we have been slowly falling out of fellowship in so many areas. Our home group is with people from another church. My mums group is with a group of ladies from another church again. My prayer meetings are usually with people from yet another church again. I understand that church isn't 'the building' as such, it is the people, and I love meeting anyone who wants to talk about God! Just don't know why those people aren't from our church!

Hubby was in a strong men's group from our church, but that has evaporated in the past 12 months. They hardly catch up these days. I no longer worship through the week with my church, after stepping down from the music roster when I was pregnant and I even have to drag my kids along to kids events these days. What's going on?!?

There really wasn't a great deal keeping us put. Was this God or the enemy making it so easy for us??

One big difference I noticed that Sunday between the two churches is one was familiar, and the other wasn't. One I knew all the faces and names, but the other I felt like stranger and I had to approach others to start a conversation (most of which was them asking 'why are you here???') One I knew where my kids could go, and the other I didn't know what they could or couldn't do. One I felt at home, the other I felt like a visitor.

I understand these are probably teething issues. That if we were to make the other more permanent, these things would go away. If I gave the other church 20 years, it would be more familiar also.... But, how can I be certain I have another 20 years? Is it not a waste of time to do all that again???

Here, at our church, they know us. We are family. Our opinions matter. We can make a difference right now! If I were to ask to hold prayer meetings, the response would be 'when and where' rather than 'who are you and why?'

And so, I came home from that time with God with a new view. That if we are to stay in the church we are in, we need to work on a few areas where I feel God is showing me. Writing them here will keep me accountable :-)

* Prayer - I need to pray for my church more. Maybe hold more regular prayer times at the church to pray with other members too. We can do nothing without God, and in humbling ourselves we remember He is the driver.

* Relationships - need to be involved in more fellowship within our church. Fires are hotter when the coals are together. Take one out and it gets cold faster. While I love meeting with so many other believers from around churches in Cairns, I need to be serving in my church and investing in these people here too.

* Ministry - I have a heart for Kids ministry and teaching not only my own, but others children about God also. I do love my youth group on Friday nights and the opportunities this brings. Maybe I need to help in a Sunday morning ministry also, to encourage my kids to be involved?

* Music - I wanna worship God with others!!! Why the Cello has been on my heart recently, I do not know. I haven't played it for years! I don't even know if I still can :-) Would love to hear a Cello in church and bring new instruments into God's house.

* Men's group. Hubby loves those blokes! (in a totally masculine way!) Maybe it just needs a woman to get them meeting again?? ;-)

* Faith and Evangelism. The topics our church is focusing on this year. It doesn't matter what we do if we aren't doing what Jesus asked us to do right?? Need to step out more to strengthen my faith, and Love the world more to strengthen evangelism and share this great Love with them!

And so, we soldier on at our current church :-) I know ultimately, it is hubby who decides where our family will serve, but while we are in this church, I'm hoping to serve with all the strength God gives me :-)

...and hopefully, we can continue to hear the other pastors messages through other means :-)

xKelly

Love seeing God's love - Mobile Phone

Ok, 7:20am and I should NOT be here right now. I have 4 kids to get ready for school and Jeremy has already left for work, so it's just 'me' being the grown up, and this normally doesn't go well. Tee he he!

BUT, you know that full, overflowing, bubbling feeling when you see God working in your life and you just HAVE to share it with someone RIGHT NOW - yeah... I got that :-)

Will try to keep it brief,

The other morning, Jeremy asked how he could pray for me that day. We started this 'habit' after watching the 'From this Day Forward' series from Lifechurch.tv. (I really recommend it for ALL married couples!) and I casually said pray for me and my mobile phone habit.

In the peak of the hot day, when Erika sleeps and Daniel (if he is home) is busy playing the Wii - I often sit in my aircon room playing some sort of mobile phone game. I know, not a 'sin' - but still, not the most productive thing I could be doing with my time either. So, I wanted to kick it.

Didn't think much more of it, until that afternoon when Jeremy was home for lunch. We sat in the aircon (it's been HOT here these days!!) and chatted.

While we chatted, I multi-tasked playing my phone. He comments that his 'prayers didn't work' jokingly and we had a giggle. I said I can talk and play at the same time as I'm a good multi-tasker like that. It's a girl thing :-)

That night he wanted to 'fix' my phone, as it's screen is cracked. Has been for a while. Don't ask who cracked it. It's a sore point ;-)

I do believe that he tried really hard to do so, but he woke me later that night saying he had really really broken it. At that point, I didn't care. (He WOKE me remember!!!) But I could tell how genuinely upset and angry at himself he was. Poor boy. I thought my not caring would help. (I also think the whole thing has brought up his deeper feelings... hmm... but more on that another day)

So, yesterday, first day without my phone. WOW! If you want to know if you are addicted to something, take it away!! Eeek! I wonder if they have nicotine patches for mobile phone addicts?

I wondered how my usual texting buddies were, wondered how the school would contact me if there was an emergency, wondered what my bank balance was, wondered how my monsters in the game Leanna and I play together were being fed, wondered how I was going to not Google the ever important question I had.....  How much I rely on that silly thing was CRAZY!

This morning, in quiet time, I decided to get back into "Jesus Calling" again. I had not done this as a morning devotional for about a month now - as someone challenged me that maybe I was listening to too many 'other' voices instead of just Gods word. They thought this was the reason for my inability to enjoy quiet times with God recently, so I had put "Jesus Calling" aside.

CRAZY part, is that I asked Jeremy to get my book for me before he left for his meeting - re-affirming how much he loves me and I love him. Then, next CRAZY is I opened it on where my bookmark was - Jan 11, and read the first line "Trust me by relinquishing control into My hands" ha ha.

The next CRAZY is the note to myself from 2012 which says 'My mobile phone won't charge! Thankyou for taking control Lord :-)" Wow - this jolly phone was an issue for me a year ago too!!!

...and finally, last CRAZY, today's dates reading has lines such as 'Come to me and Rest' / 'When your focus turns away from Me, you grasp for other things' / 'return to Me; regain My presence'

So then, as I step back and see what God has done, once again, by taking my phone, I see how much He also wants me to focus on Him. I see how much He loves me. And by asking Jeremy to pray - I also see Him kinda laughing and saying, "Well, you asked for it!!!" :-D Yes, I did :-D

I have a feeling today's quiet time is going to be awesome....

Thanks for listening xKelly