Praying Praying Praying

So, the prayer mission i promised to write about...


I will talk to you about it, if you promise you won't think of me any differently? No, 'lifting Kelly up' or thinking 'i can't do that!' because i believe it was not me who came up with the idea... i believe God put things into place. To Him be the glory. 


Promise?


So, the people in my church family have been heavy on my heart. I wrote about them here when i went into the church for the prayer meeting that no one showed up for. (The prayer meeting i haven't been back to since! My bad!)  


And so, i have been talking to God about it all. What could i do? I don't want to guilt people, but a church without a head isn't very pretty!! 


Throughout the week that it was heavy on my heart, a few different voices spoke to me and their words stood out - things like how the early church prayed together DAILY, the Welsh revival started when a handful of guys got serious about prayer, that it's God who changes things - not us in our own strength, God may ask us to do things we can not do - because then we really know it's in His strength that it happens (which in turn increases our faith) etc


Anyway, long story short, i've committed to God that i would attempt to pray daily at the church building at 6am in the morning. 


Once a week, i was praying with a beautiful friend in the mornings - and so i thought i should be able to do this everyday! With hubbys approval, i now set my alarm for 5:33am and aim to be at the church at 6am each morning for prayer.


I don't know how long this will last. I did originally say 'from meeting to meeting' at first, but i think this is a habit that i would like to continue... 


It's been about 11 mornings so far - and yes i am only human and have slept through the alarm once and turned up late, i also prayed at a friends house once instead (but my friend has now said she will meet me at the church) but this isn't a numbers game. It's a heart game. And God has been refining my heart and blessed me SO much through this.


I remember i was almost 'jealous' of my husband, as he took on a fasting mission at the beginning of the year. He did a Daniel fast for the first 3 weeks of 2012 (lifechurch do this together yearly) and i wanted to as well, but i didn't think i should while i was still breastfeeding. I think your brain does different things when you deprive it of what is the norm, forcing it to do what you want, rather then give into fleshly desires. 


Anyways, I think God has since showed me that i can also do the same thing, while still being able to feed my baby girl, and that is through prayer. By depriving me of the sleep that i usually have instead of praying, my brain is different through the day. Yes, more tired, cranky, short fused - but instead of just writing it off as 'im just tired' - i want to control these emotions and make them submit to me. No one can tell me to be cranky, that is a reaction and what i decide to be. I need to get that under control in order for me to be able to get through even harder things later in life.... 


It is truly amazing just how much better the day is when you are re-aligned with God as your first step of the day. Wow. and He is teaching me things that i didn't know i needed to know! 


1 Corinthians 11: And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ. 


So what did Christ do? 


Luke 6:12 One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night.


Ok, so i haven't prayed all night yet - phew - but you would imagine Christ would be pretty tired the next day right? Consider it a write off? I know on the days when babies have kept me awake, i've needed extra help to let me sleep the next day. 


But no. On the day Christ did this, He then went on that morning to choose His 12 apostles.
And had huge crowds following Him. (me: *hiding under bedsheets* "leave me aloooone!!!")
And then spoke the beautiful Beatitudes (me: GIVING attitudes! ha ha!)
Then spoke of the future, gave some very hard and truthful messages.... 
then healed the sick 
then raised a person who had died back to life.... wow. 


Yes, i know He is Christ, but He was also human and i would imagine tired. But if He recognised how important prayer is (even though, being God i'm not sure what it is He would of wanted to say to God / himself??) then who am i to ignore it's importance?!?


Well, will keep you updated! Feel free to join me! :-) 


xK

Bit nervous and excited!

Hello all!

Getting to type from the computer is a luxury! I enjoyed it so much last time i posted, that i haven't blogged from the phone again sorry. Does mean a bigger break between posts though... oops!

So, nervous and excited! Last week i had a shocking day. Just one of those hard ones where every little thing piles on top of another - and so i came to a choice point. What to do now. Do i run to facebook and try to feel better there? Or the fridge? Or 'phone a friend' - instead i came to the Lord. I really want Him to be my comfort and trying to do this more.

And, it was definitely the best thing to do :-)

I found myself crying to Him and seeking comfort from Him - and suddenly these words started flowing, and rhyming, and coming together... wow. Grabbing pen n paper - i proceeded to scribble out pages and pages of what happened to me and what i was going through. No idea why i wrote it and what for.

Very long story short - God was in the mixing and I find myself now nervous, as Kristy is about to share this poem online, for 100's and 1000's of other mums to see it. Woah.

A couple of days after the poem was written, i spoke to Kristy and she offered me a place on her 'Imperfect Mum' site - for 'God sh*t' she said. (I love her and her honesty!) We laughed and both promised to come up with a better name for it.

But her heart is gold. She knows how many mums out there are hurting, and wants to help them. And she thinks that i have something that could help. (little may she realise HE is the ONLY help! But she'll get there ;-) tee he he!) She said she just woke the other morning, and i came to her mind and she knew that she had to ask me to share. Crazy cool huh?

And so, she's posting the poem soon. Every time i commute with her about it, or send her bits about it, i keep fearing she's gonna soon go 'no no no, too much God stuff in it - tone it down a tad' but she's yet to say this. In fact, she even emailed and asked if there were any photos i wanted to add?!? AND if im ready to post a link to THIS little blog too?!?!?

God, you are amazing!

Isaiah 55 comes to mind...

Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink — even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk— it’s all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food.

“Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life. I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David. See how I used him to display my power among the peoples. I made him a leader among the nations.

You also will command nations you do not know, and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey,because I, the Lord your God,the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”

Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

“The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth.
They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry.

It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.

...and it goes on.

Father, may this poem bring YOU glory. May You use it where You want to. Even if it comes to nothing and seems like a flop in the worlds standards - it already means so much to me and i thank You for teaching me truthful lessons that day. You are the true comfort. Thank You.

Blessed to be a signpost....

xK

2am - I'm awake of course!

Yeay! Typing from my computer this time instead of the teeny tiny phone! ONE day I'll get a portable computer thingy (God willing!)

So, it's 2am and most people should be sleeping right? But me, I'm wide awake. Not too sure why. Few things floating in my head at the moment.

I have a to do list that is about 36 items long that sits on the front page of my phone. Think I have been feeling guilt about this. Not that all the things on it are URGENT - but still, it kinda haunts me. These are things that just pop into my head, normally while I'm praying, and so i see them as possible things God may want me to do. Print photos for a friend, email someone something, order my friends present etc. I don't wanna miss one of God's leadings - and so i write it down.

There was also a fight next door too. My poor neighbours don't understand volume levels, and so we get to hear most of it - but fortunately the rain drained out most of the swear words and my kids didn't wake. I kept an ear out if it were to become physical though - but as normal it was just a swear session it seemed. I do get worried when one of them drives off though...

My baby girl has the sniffles at the moment too. Not nice when they are sick. It is running clear though, so hope it's just a temporary teeth thing. But I'm feeding her more to help...

Maybe I'm up cause I'm excited about praying perhaps? Today, being Sunday the 11th of March 2012, there is a church meeting and so I've chosen today as the day that I'm starting the prayer mission - I don't think I've shared about that yet right? I will soon. Promise :-) Cause YOU have to keep me accountable! :-D

Well, signing off now, as i've done most of the 'to do' that involved the computer. Still not feeling sleepy yet, but that may be because God has something for me in His word, so i will look there.

Sleep well!

xK

i am IM2

What a crazy couple of days!

I.M stands for 'The Imperfect Mum' which is a blog my beautiful friend 'Kristy Vallely' has created. (I don't mind using her full name because she often uses it herself online) Kristy is a real down to earth mum who really does say it like it is - and I totally love honest people like this. She truely is like an older sister to me and we have seen each other through a lot. We both recorded each others wedding days, shared with each dreams n heartaches and now we also share motherhood together.

Kristy is a bright light, loves people (hmmm... MOST people I should say! Cross her or her loved ones and you'll know it!) and I always knew she'd be famous. You just can't keep bright 'look at me' people hidden when it's their time to shine.

And Kristy is shining!! Beautifully! She has a big heart for mums and wants them to know they are not alone - as motherhood really can be a very lonely experience. And so, she has created a 'sisterhood' of mums who now support one another in a facebook group, asking questions, sharing experiences and lifting one another up. Kristy herself has opened painful places from her past as well, writing these moments in an online blog for the entire world to read, share, critique and bond.

Kristy was the one who inspired me to start my blog. She is one of the reasons you are reading this now! (you can thank or thump her later! Ha ha!)

And so, her group has because so large now, she alone can't keep up with it all. And she has asked me to help out, which of course, I said yes! But for different reasons then most would.

Most people would normally jump at the chance to be famous, yet I have no desire. I know my life here is short and I will soon be forgotten after I die, but it is His name that is eternal. To be a part of His plan and story would be worth my life. I would love for people to look back on me in years to come KNOWING I lived for the Lords purpose and not my own.

The I.M job also gives you a strange sense of power. I remembered the buzz of posting that first post, knowing over 4600 may be about to read it. Wow. But give me instead, the amazing coincidences of God. When He prepares or sets up the meeting of people that needed to be right there right now. Or the Holy Spirit teaching eternal truths. Or knowing that God hears little tiny me. The creator of it all. and tiny me. That's powerful.

The I.M blog could also fulfill the need for purpose in my life. A title. A job. A reason to get up because 'people need me' feeling. I craved that only a few years ago. Oh, to be important again. Not just a servant of little, unappreciative beings.
But, I am important. I do have an important role. Every extra breathe I take means that my Heavenly Father has unfinished tasks for me. Like a parent, I'm sure He doesn't like seeing me suffer and would love to call me home, but we're not done here. And if God wants to use me to glorify His name, then that gives my life purpose. Huge purpose.

Don't misunderstand me. I am overjoyed at being a part of the IM gang. I'm even more excited to be able to help Kristy and her family and even to help the thousands of mums that read her blog. I feel like this is going to be big. And I pray the Lord will use it and me in big ways for His name.

Oh, and I'm also so thankful to be standing alongside Kristy in this. She is on my heart for the Lord. I have about 7ish close people who come to mind when I hear of people without God. Of course, when I dwell on it I can name hundreds of people, but there will always be that small immediate core group and Kristys in it. Not that I'm Bible thumpin her, but my soul prays for her regularly.

All in time Kristy! :-) He loves you too much. He loves me too much too, and hears all my prayers for you x

xK aka - IM2 :-)

Nasty Kelly.... Don't call in the morning or you may meet her!

I was having a very cruddy morning!!

Kids all going crazy, husband off to work early leaving me to chaos solo, female stuff, house is a mess, tired from being up too late last night, out of cereal and we're racing the clock... Perfect ingredients to make a disaster!

Then i get a phonecall from a friend in the middle of it all! I was feeding bub at the time, and REALLY didn't want to stop what i was doing - but of course she wanted to talk to me.

She apologized for interrupting such a busy time of the morning (Well, why did you?? My head said) I will be quick (text would of been quicker i thought...) Just wanted to let you know i can take my child to school today so you don't need to rush to get here in time before school... (We've been collecting her daughter while their car is being fixed)

"Ok, cool" I said quickly, rudely, abruptly and regretted as soon as it left my lips.

"So... How have you been?" She said, obviously noticing my short fused response and frazzled tone perhaps??

"I'm sorry but i can't talk now sorry matey. It's crazy here and i need to keep up with it"

"Sure, no worries, we can talk later" and that was it.

-- I was thankful she was so understanding. I love friends who are tough and can take an honest response without me worrying if i've left them crying on the other end. These people i consider my close friends.

But that doesn't make what i did right.

"Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many."

Oh, that bitter root was there! and it certainly troubled me. It can then pass onto the child i raise my voice at to get ready faster, or the mum at school i don't talk to because I'm in a bitter mood. Or my friend on the phone, who has tasted my bitterness and may pass it onto whoever she meets. Or the children my children then come in contact with. My attitude has an amazing ripple effect... You know how your day can be ruined by one nasty tongued person??

But faking it doesn't work either. People can smell a fake a long way off. Especially children!

So after school drop off and back home again, giving up the plans i had made - i came to the Father, humbled, realising i needed to spend time with Him instead. He can heal me. He knows me better than anyone else, even myself.

"Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up." To the cross. To the cross. I find myself at the cross again, and i am refreshed and realigned. Thank You for your unfailing love my Father. Thank You for Your discipline.

I then went on to apologise to my friend (who said she didn't even notice! Good to see i can still hide my sin :-s ha ha. Jokes!!) and seek her forgiveness. People are too precious and Christ paid too much for these things to remain unresolved...

"As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?"

My Father loves me SO much!

xK